Thursday, February 18, 2010

Debbie Does it on My Sheets

So I like to watch porn. I'm human. Yes, a woman who watches porn, men pick your jaws up off the floor now thank you. And before I get into my real story, guys with girlfriends and wives who make you feel like guilty perverts for watching porn, they secretly like it too. It's just that girls have been raised to abhor such things and feel guilty for liking it. So they would rather not be put in that position and avoid it all together. Okay, maybe not all girls like porn, but dammit they are curious.

I don't really have to explain why I like porn, main reason is pretty obvious. Although one part why I do like it is that it is very educational. New positions and such, and why you always need a cucumber handy.

But my real tale that I wish to share is how I feel a special connection to the porn community. One night a few years ago, watching porn (duh), it happened. While the man and the woman slinked into the bedroom getting all sexy I noticed something very distinct. The sheets they were about to get freaky on as it were. They were my sheets. My bedding. Their set designer (they use those right?) picked my bed sheets for the sexy scene! Now I know what you're thinking, I must sleep on silk and lace sheets in black and red colors.


My bedding, which I picked out in high school mind you, are pale blue and yellow with patterns of pale pink roses all over. The cover is reversible too! (So was the woman in the porn, maybe that's why they picked them) And my innocent sheets in no way fit in with the rest of the decor, or the story line (innocent school girl getting freaky? nay nay...) I think they were in a mansion too, making my sheets stand out more!!! My bedding is not grand or elegant enough to be in a mansion. I could not believe it. What's more unbelievable is that I wasn't smart enough at the time to write down the name of the film. No proof. I feel like it had to be Skintimax or Friday After Dark, or something on HBO. I know it wasn't "Oops I Swallowed", too recent. I may have to start a contest to see who can find the film. Until then, the mystery remains...

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