The Blind Date to End All Blind Dates

In middle school I had my first ever blind date. Funny enough it was also my last. This blind date was set up by a friend of mine whom I was taking Catholic school classes with (religion intertwined with romance, I know, already a promising start). She kept telling me about her guy friend, let's call him "Tim" for secrets sake, that and I just can't remember the damn guy's name. Anyhow, she kept telling me how he really wanted to go out with me but was too shy to ask me himself. Being as young and naive as I was, and going through more hormonal changes than I could deal with, I agreed to let her arrange our date to the movies.

Soon enough the date night came, my mother drove me to the movie theatre and waited with me for my date to arrive ( I know, I know, almost too sexy already). I only knew his name (at that time at least) and had no idea what my date would look like. Then, walking through the double door entrance to the theatre was a most beautiful boy, practically a man. He could have been in a boy band (at that time, that was a good thing). With dark hair and sculpted features, I thought, "Could I be this lucky?" As many of you may have already guessed...no. I was in fact admiring my date's older brother who drove him to the theatre, and who apparently stole all the handsome genes in the family. I glanced at my date and immediately wanted the night to be over. Now, he wasn't completely tragic and God knows I am not in a position to behave as a beauty above him, but nonetheless I could not help but be disappointed. As my date and I awkwardly smiled at each other and struggled to even say hello, my mother and his brother discussed what time they would pick the two love birds up.

"Tim" and I went into the theatre where thankfully we would not have to talk. He just kept looking at me and smiling. Adding to the evening, "Tim's" entourage seemed to magically appear in the same theatre as us, and throughout the movie he kept leaving with them, and then would come back to join me. I had no idea what was going on nor what to do. This was my first dating experience and I just assumed this to be a normal thing, leaving to give his buddies updates and tell them how cool I was (again, I was very young and naive). Finally, after his 5th or so meeting with his entourage and coming back to his seat, he kept looking at me and smiling at me, seeming to struggle with the words he wanted to say. In my mind I'm thinking, "Oh dear God, he is about to profess his love to me and will want to continue dating. What am I ever going to do?" Finally, "Tim" looked at me and said, "I have to tell you something but I'm not sure how to say it." I can only imagine the horror-struck look on my face. He continued, "I thought...I thought...well, I thought I was going on a date with someone else."

You are free to start laughing now.

"What?" I asked with utter confusion. He then went on to explain how he kept describing the girl he really liked to our mutual friend, and this girl (whom he never knew the name of) just happened to have a similar appearance to myself. And our mutual friend, in her infinite wisdom, just assumed it to be me. I suddenly found myself to be outraged, why suddenly was I not good enough for him?! I wasted a whole evening trying to be nice to this boy while he kept running off with his friends, not to mention the whole time wondering what his brother was up to, and I'm not even good enough for him?! You can only imagine what I said next,

"Oh, that's okay."

When they do invent time machines, I will be sure to go back to this moment and slap my younger self for being so spineless. Eventually, though not soon enough, the movie finally came to an end. For the first time in my teenage years I couldn't be happier to see my mother take me away from this horrifying date. The whole ride home I relayed the nights events to her, while she tried to stifle her laughter and act sympathetic to her teenage daughter. I decided that night to never be put in that position again and have never allowed myself to be set up on a blind date since.