Cake Writing

I have written on many, many, many cakes. So many Happy Birthdays, Congratulations and Happy Anniversaries, it does become a bit monotonous. And lately I'm not the only one who feels this way. More customers wonder what other fun phrases can be written on their cakes. Here are some of my ideas:


Instead of "It's a Boy!" I could write, "Hope you son doesn't grow up to be a dick even though he has one"

Instead of "It's a Girl!" I could write, "Cross your fingers she doesn't end up on the pole"

The tired old phrase "Congratulations for your bundle of joy!" could be updated to "Congratulations! You still can't properly use a condom"

"Happy Birthday" I have literally written that hundreds of times, so stale. "One year closer to death!" has a lot more pizazz!

When myself and the customer have no fucking clue what to write on the cake, "(Advertise here)"

"Happy Anniversary" should be modernized to "Still together...really?"

This next one pretty much explains itself "Surprise! You may have an STD" (but at least you have cake)